Burglar Logs Into Facebook On Victim's Computer 337
yet-another-lobbyist writes to mention that Facebook addiction has finally caused real world consequences, at least for one would-be burglar. It seems that 19-year-old Jonathan Parker couldn't stay away from the popular social networking site, even long enough to rob a house. Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status on the victim's computer, but left it logged in to his account when he left.
"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:5, Funny)
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He was framed!
Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:4, Funny)
he was iFramed
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Hans? They have internet in maximum security prison?
stupidity (Score:5, Funny)
Always when I think I've seen the most stupidity ever, there comes a next sucker and tops it.
Next on news, casino robbers twitter about the process using @heist tag while executing their plan.
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At a previous job, we fired a cleaning crew because they logged into our computers to check their email while we were out.
We called to tell them why they weren't getting paid or allowed to come back, and the boss said, "they might have pressed some buttons when they were dusting."
We said, "the login we have here is 'john.smith123@hotmail.com'; the odds of that being pressed sequentially are 2.7^15 to 1 against."
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Insightful)
Sweet place you work at, where anyone can come along and log into your computers and get online.
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Re:stupidity (Score:5, Funny)
In one of our offices, failure to lock your screen means you'll send an email proposing your sexual favours to a bunch of same sex colleagues for a modicum of money.
Second offender in the same day makes the same offer, but to both sexes, and for a lower amount.
This taught basic security to all newcomers.
It is lucky that :
- Most of us got caught, and pass on the joke
- we all have a sense of humor
- we are not in the US 8p
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Informative)
Here in the US the email offers to buy free beers at a local bar after work.
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That was the custom in many USAF shops where I worked. Endless computer security briefings don't make near the impact of romantic odes to ones entire section (if you were lucky) and sometimes senior leadership.
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I'm thinking an aluminium keyboard (do they exist) and I bit of electrical wiring may help turn the joke around.
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Funny)
I used to screen shot the desktop, set it as wallpaper then drag all the icons off screen.
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Insightful)
At a previous job, we fired a cleaning crew because they logged into our computers to check their email while we were out.
We called to tell them why they weren't getting paid or allowed to come back, and the boss said, "they might have pressed some buttons when they were dusting."
We said, "the login we have here is 'john.smith123@hotmail.com'; the odds of that being pressed sequentially are 2.7^15 to 1 against."
Why didn't you just lock your screen when you left for the day?
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Re:stupidity (Score:5, Funny)
are 2.7^15 to 1 against
Coincidentally, 2 954 312.71 is the phone number of the Islington Flat where a cleaning crew supervisor learned that he had lost a contract.
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Unless US law is very different to English law, having one party to a contract break it doesn't mean the other is automatically allowed to break it in any way they please in response. They might be if it's the right kind of breach, or the contract might say what they can do explicitly, but this doesn't sound to me to be likely to be that kind of breach.
You'd have to be a complete idiot of a cleaning company to sue, though, so I doubt anyone cared.
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Re:stupidity (Score:4, Insightful)
Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
I can just imagine it...
Status: Robbing a house at 319 Elm St. ROTFL!
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I don't have a facebook account, so excuse my ignorance, but every time I read something like this I get confused:
Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status
Shouldn't he know what his status is? I mean, he was the last one to change his status, right? Does facebook go around changing your status, and it's a game to log in and see what it got changed to?
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Yes. You're correct. They should have said he was checking his friends' statuses and/or checking for comments.
Mafia Wars? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
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Well, that would take care of homophobic men and anyone without a sense of humor.
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Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
Your mom wouldn't have to log in as often.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments.
comment entry field yet.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
I don't have an account
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle
comment entry field yet.
That was like the worst poem ever.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:4, Funny)
I don't have an account
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle
comment entry field yet.
That was like the worst poem ever.
Burma-Shave.
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Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
Burmashave!
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Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:5, Funny)
So, will his status for the next 3-5 years be updated to:
JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence in the State Penn.
On a semi-related note (Score:2)
Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.
IANAL, but can someone tell my what the difference is between felony burglary and felony daylight burglary? Are the charges somehow more/less severe based on the time of day or night?
Just curious.
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Burglary charges tend to be more severe when they involve a night-time break-in since it's more likely that the homeowners are going to be at home (possibly asleep) then.
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[Huh? what a little comment box!]
Burglary was defined at Common Law to be a forced entry into the dwelling of another at night with the intent of committing a felony.
Modern statutory versions have dropped many of the requirements, such as being a dwelling, or at night, and some have probably even dropped the felonious intent requirement.
Under the classic definition, if you only intended to commit a misdemeanor, it wasn't burglary. Note that it's *intent* at the time of entry, not whether or not the crime
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I doubt it, what with the eighth amendment and all...
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I read the story, and fell over laughing. Told the wife, she fell over laughing. Told the kids, and THEY fell over laughing. Finally I told the dog, and HE fell over laughing!!
HELP US! WE'VE FALLEN, AND WE CAN'T GET UP!!
Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:5, Funny)
Well, thankfully you broke the curse. None of us are laughing at what you wrote.
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Hey, that's an insult to muffins!
That was you? (Score:2, Funny)
just too funny (Score:2, Funny)
Darwin effects will always rule!
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This is an extreme example supporting my long standing belief that only stupid criminals get caught, the smart ones end up running mega-corps like M$.
This proves the old adage... (Score:2)
Re:This proves the old adage... (Score:5, Insightful)
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SOME criminals are stupid... obviously, you never hear about the smart ones.
Sure you do, they are called congressmen and senators.
Re:blame the parents!!! (Score:2)
Perhaps he just has ADD, had his mother got him prescribed the proper drugs he would have been able to access all her accounts, stolen her identity and gotten home, but NO it is all her fault that he couldn't hold his concentration on just doing no good for long enough to do a proper job of robbery.
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As one detective once said "Every dumb criminal is a failure of the education system."
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Many believe that it is only a crime if you get caught.
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The others just go into politics.
Frame job? (Score:5, Interesting)
Part of me has to wonder if someone else might have logged into the facebook account and left it for the victim to find, to implicate this other fellow?
Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary, but, I dunno, this seems *too* convenient.
Re:Frame job? (Score:4, Funny)
You've got to remember where this happened - Martinsburg, WV... where they old saw goes:
How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Because anywhere else it would have bene called a teethbrush.
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A newer spin... (Score:5, Funny)
Why is there no CSI Hillsboro? There are no dental records and everybody has the same DNA.....
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screwdriver, not screws driver
your joke is weak...
Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Funny)
Back when I handled criminals, I had some *real* dumb ones, but my favorite robbed a friend's credit union.
When the police found him, he leaped up to tell them that the money in one pocket was his; that theirs was on the other. And when they brought the teller out to ID him, *he* IDed *her* instead!
Yes, criminals really are this dumb.
hawk, esq
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In that case, you plea bargain while the DA is laughing his *** off. :)
hawk
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I doubt the police would go for a prosecution just based on a facebook login. It will give them a prime suspect though - which will turn up other evidence, as in this case.
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Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Informative)
Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary
Yeah... like the fact that he asked a friend if they'd want to help rob the house.....
He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.
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Unless he told the police without being asked to, wuldn't that make him an accessory to burglary before the fact?
or is accessory only a crime when it comes to murder?
IAO*NAL
*obviously
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....wait...refusing to commit a crime is illegal in America now? What's next, thoughtcrime? sigh.
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I'll bite....
If your friend comes to you and says "I'm going to kill my wife tomorrow. Will you help?"
And you say "No"
But you don't inform the police that your friend is conspiring to commit murder, and the next day his wife turns up dead and he's the killer, then you have committed a crime by not trying to prevent the murder. In other words you've concealed the crime by omission.
That's accessory before the fact.
I was wondering if it applies to theft as well as murder.
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Ah. Not sure if I agree with that law, I can see some good arguments for and against it. I'd be surprised, but not terribly so, if it applied to less serious crimes.
Not only am I not a lawyer, I have no idea what I'm talking about! You should take my legal advice:-)
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I have a few friends who are detectives in two local jurisdictions, one being the lapd. After learning of some interrogation tactics only a seasoned criminal really has a chance, well them and those who are smart enough to request a lawyer immediately. I fully see the following scenario.
cop: So mr iamsosexyinthewv you do realize your mafia wars experience points will be subtracted once this goes to court right !?
perp: What do you mean they will be subtracted when i go to court.
cop: well if you weren't on t
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I don't know; guy from my high school crawled through an elderly woman's kitchen window and raped her. And dropped his wallet. And didn't realize it. True story; he didn't go straight home so the cops actually got to his apartment before he did and we were waiting for him when came home. People who have no impulse control (in other words, most criminals), really don't have the ability to prioritize like most of us "OK, I'd like to check facebook like I usually do every 5 minutes, but right now the potential
Jonathan Parker (Score:3, Funny)
Facebook Status: (Score:4, Funny)
updated 2:57 PM today
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Facebook doesn't have a "doesn't like" feature. (Yet?)
Facebook addiction (Score:5, Interesting)
I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.
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If you were really determined to kick your addiction you would have deleted your account completely.
you know, 'going cold turkey'
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Good for you, I guess... but that's kinda like letting your wife shoot you up instead of tying yourself off and doing it yourself. You're still addicted, you just have someone else controlling your supply.
No facebook acct for me.
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Predictions (Score:5, Interesting)
I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.
For anyone who read Usenet back in the 90's, this was not a prediction - it was a certainty.
Left the Computer? (Score:2, Insightful)
I'm calling shenanigans! Frame-Job!!
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You do the math.
Further evidence... (Score:5, Funny)
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Status (Score:2, Funny)
What I want to know is ... (Score:4, Insightful)
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Probably a tower case.
Most burglars are no professionals. They are just looking for easily-grabbed items that they can fit into their pockets. Any cash laying around, jewelry, mp3 players or other electronic devices, stuff like that. Carrying a computer down the street would be too obvious.
Likewise, people like this are usually crimes of opportunity. Little to no planning would have been involved - this guy is obviously no professional.
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Grandma's silver set and cash are a lot easier to deal with and weigh a lot less.
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It's actually sorta in the middle, between "backslash" and "shift". Pounding on the "return" probably isn't a good idea, though, cause you might break the keyboard.
That's not all... (Score:2)
Guy is a real brain trust... (Score:2)
Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.
During the investigation, a friend of the victim told her that he knew where Parker was staying, in the same area as the victim's house.
Police then went to the home and spoke with a friend of Parker's.
The man said Parker had stopped by his home occasionally, but he said the man didn't live there.
He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.
So apparently the underqualified burglar was staying with a neighbor, asked said neighbor for help, and then proceeded anyways to break into the house that the neighbor refused to help him break into.
Frankly I'm surprised our criminal didn't leave behind his wallet or an autographed self-portrait as well.
Protip for criminals (Score:4, Funny)
Dumbass.
Full of LOL (Score:3, Funny)
http://www.myspace.com/parkersworld16 [myspace.com]
And a choice quote from one of his friends:
...Aubrey wants you to join their mob in Mobsters, a Mafia-style combat game played on MySpace.
Start out as a petty thief and work your way up to become a Mob Don!
Daytime bulgrary? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (Score:5, Interesting)
Stupid criminals leave their Facebook accounts logged in on your computer. Smart ones steal all the passwords that are stored in your browser.
Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (Score:5, Funny)
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Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe he was on foot. Maybe it wasn't a laptop. A couple of diamond rings are much easier to carry (and conceal for that matter).
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No matter how much potentially useful information is stored on my computer, no crook would think taking a TS-8100 is worth its weight.